A testimony

It was fast Sunday today. I totally forgot, thus I did not fast. Rex however was feeling in a spiritual mood I guess and decided he wanted to go up and bear his testimony. I have never talked to him about bearing his testimony in sacrament because I thought he was a little young but also because I wanted him to want to, not because I wanted him to. So when he told me today I had two feelings, one was pride, but that one didn't come immediately. My first thought was uh-oh what's he going to say. Ya see ever since Rex was little he has loved running up to microphones that have been abandoned in church and talking into them really loud. And typically what he has to say isn't spiritual. So when he told me he wanted to go up and bear his testimony, I was scared. I had visions of him going up in front of the entire ward and saying something inappropriate about pooping or something. (He does have Carney blood in him after all)
I told him he could definitely go up there but he had to tell me what he wanted to say first. He thought about it for awhile and then bore a sweet testimony to me about Jesus and seeing him again some day.
Luckily, he stuck with that testimony and shared it with the ward. I was so proud.

Sigh...

I wish I was pregnant. That's all. Just want to get that out so I can move on from that thought tonight. I hate being patient and realizing that I am not in control. Sometimes it's just nice when your plans mesh with Heavenly Father's plans. Right now mine don't and they haven't for a couple of months now. Some days I am ok with it and trust in Him. Other days, especially the nights, I am frustrated. Tonight I am frustrated. But I still love and trust Him. How could I not?

Everybody poos

Dear Sam,
Please stop pooping your pants.
Love,
your mother

P.S. While your at it tell your brother to stop disappearing while he is outside playing, it's not good on my heart.

We love Lego's

PMS'ing after losing a baby is like a cruel joke. Unfortunately my family has had to deal with me. To make up I decided to spend some time today doing the thing my boys love doing the most right now. Playing Lego's. I lasted for about an hour. I really enjoy Lego's but don't think I can do more than that. Sam on the other hand is loving Lego's right now. He literally sat at the table without leaving except for snack and potty breaks for 4 hours today playing with Lego's! Four hours!! It's hilarious to hear him too because he plays make believe with the guys. His favorite are the Storm Troopers which he pretends are Princess Amadala Storm trooper and Princess Leia Storm Trooper.

Rex has really been wanting a Lego Batman set but since they don't sell them anymore they are ridiculously priced on ebay so it is not going to happen unless they re-release them. To make up for not having any, he made his own Batman/Mr. Freeze picture with the Lego's today. I thought it was super creative. Batman even has his Batarang.


During Family night tonight Mark and Abby got a little cozy. I thought it was adorable so I snapped a picture. What's sweeter than a dog and her master?

Yes, I am Irish

Been on a serious blogging funk lately. Couldn't think of a thing to say.
Not

ONE

SINGLE

THING.

But now it is St. Patricks Day! And as a former Carney (rhymes with Blarney) I most definitely have some Irish roots. Because of that I have always been fascinated with Ireland and hope to visit there some day. In the meantime, I celebrate St. Patricks Day.

This year I decided to be a cool mom and start some St. Patricks Day traditions, lest my kids ever have to go to therapy over my lack of traditions for every holiday. I spent some quality time watching 90210 last night while cutting out little leprechaun feet. I made some Irish Soda bread and even colored it green so that Rex would have a cool snack to take to Preschool tomorrow. I left out a fresh box of Apple Jacks and woke up early to make green eggs, Sam's favorite food. I then left the little leprechaun feet on the floor. I was so excited for the boy's reactions...

Rex woke up ornery. Apparently he had a bad dream. I tried to cheer him up by telling him that the leprechauns had a surprise for us in the kitchen. He ran in there, got down and examined the feet for a minute and then said, "Those aren't real, they are made out of paper!"

Sam decided that green eggs were disgusting because, "I don't like green eggs, I like yellow eggs."

Awesome.

A little later on Rex cheered up and decided that maybe leprechauns did visit and that they even washed their hands after they were done cooking because they left some soap in the sink. Sam got excited about the green clothes he had to wear and the Irish soda bread was a hit at Preschool.

I am a cool mom.

Tonight we are feasting on a traditional Irish meal found here.

Go Ireland! Maybe I'll dye our toilet water green just for fun...

Sammy Bammy

3 years old! Last week of course! My how the last three year have flown. This boy has been such a blessing in our lives. It all started with a simple, wonderful VBAC birth. Then he was a happy, mellow and relaxed baby. A early talking absolutely gorgeous one year old. A joyful, adorable and adoring two year old.

Then he hit three...

Sometimes I feel like I have a completely different child. It's a good thing he is still as cute as ever! Mark worries that this new change in attitude is permanent, but my mother's intuition tells me that he's just testing and when he gets it out of his system he will be back to his sweet, adorable self. And mother's intuition is always right you know.

We had a party the day after his actual birthday and my sweet Sammy showed his true colors when he exclaimed after ever gift he opened, "I love it! Thank you so much!"

Unfortunately, after the party he had a Dr's visit in which his new temperment was noticed by all! He gave a few stink eyes to the Dr. and really let him know how unhappy he was after he got a shot. Rex however was a perfect angel and adored by all. He even gave the Dr. some candy from Sam's party and made sure it was opened so the Dr. could eat it immediately! I think when we put them in bunkbeds they might have switched personalities in their sleep.

We love you Sam and know that our sweet, adoring boy will return to us again soon!
The last three years have been nothing but joy and I am lucky to be your mom.

Jacob's memorial

Apparently we have been busy around here because the memorial was last Thursday and I am just barely writing about it. Partly though, I haven't been sure what to say. I want to document this experience, but it's hard to put the different feelings into words. Overall it was actually a great day. Since it was Sam and my mom's birthday (yes they share a birthday, awesome huh?!), I took my mom to get a pedicure in the morning. Her birthday wish was for me to get one with her, so I happily obliged! Sweet mother!

The service was at 2:30. It had been a dreary, gray and extremely foggy morning but by the afternoon it was beautiful, sunny and 55 degrees! It couldn't have been more perfect. There was one other family there that lost a little girl at about the same gestation as Jacob was. There were a total of 3 babies buried and they showed us where they buried them last week. It was nice to know exactly where he is in the area. The man who did the service was really nice. He said a prayer and blessed the ground. There was a woman who worked with him as well that was really great. The best thing about them is they wanted to talk about our experiences and our babies. So many people are afraid to even talk about my loss, fearing that they will upset me. The opposite is actually true, I like talking about it. It makes it real. It makes him real.

After the service we laid our flowers down, got pictures and then let off our balloons. That was a really special moment. For some reason seeing them travel up toward heaven was so amazing. Rex decided that once we couldn't see them anymore that they had arrived and Jacob was playing with them. He is so sweet and really misses the fact that he never got to know his brother. He tells me all the time to get pregnant so he can have a new brother or sister. I love that he feels such a connection to him. I know Jacob will watch out for his brothers and that makes me feel good.

After we let off the balloons, we went and saw my aunt Darla's grave and then had an "adventure" as Rex called it. At the top of that cemetary is a big hill dedicated to the Veterens. There are a bunch of graves of soldiers up there and a huge area to look at the beautiful view. It was gorgeous. I am so glad my baby is in this cemetary, not only because it is so beautiful but also because when we first moved here, we lived right down the street from here, so I know the area and it is familiar to me.

We ended the evening at the Cheesecake Factory to celebrate mom and Sam's birthday. Mom let Sam blow out the candle. Thanks to my family for making a potentially rough day, a good experience.