Balloons

Yesterday was a hard day. Sam has been sick and hitting the thrilling three's (terrible two's are way overrated, it's the three's that try my patience!) so there has been a lot of crying, whining and screaming in our house lately. Rex definitely had more temper tantrums when he was young, but Sam's last much longer. He has screamed for an hour before without letting up.

It's awesome.

Not really.

So that combined with some major PMSing on my part (the first since I lost Jacob) and many sad triggers lately, made for a crappy day. I also found out that they officially buried Jacob's body last week.

It all culminated last night when I made a quick run to the party store to get some stuff for Sam's birthday party on Friday. I ordered balloons for him. Should be a happy occasion, right? Well... I also ordered balloons to set free after the memorial service for Jacob. Talk about a juxtaposition of feelings. So grateful and happy for my three year old who has brought so much love and joy into our lives, and so sad that I lost my little man and have to have a memorial service for our child.

Just when you think you are doing well...

I put this together to put on our mantel. It is the blanket they put Jacob on to take his pictures and wrapped him up in. It touched my baby. It still has some blood on it. I love it.

The card says:
We hope this Snuggly helps provide
some comfort in hard times. It is a
little bit of something soft that has
touched your baby.
"Sometimes love is for a moment.
Sometimes love is for a lifetime.
Sometimes a moments is a lifetime."