Jacob's memorial

Apparently we have been busy around here because the memorial was last Thursday and I am just barely writing about it. Partly though, I haven't been sure what to say. I want to document this experience, but it's hard to put the different feelings into words. Overall it was actually a great day. Since it was Sam and my mom's birthday (yes they share a birthday, awesome huh?!), I took my mom to get a pedicure in the morning. Her birthday wish was for me to get one with her, so I happily obliged! Sweet mother!

The service was at 2:30. It had been a dreary, gray and extremely foggy morning but by the afternoon it was beautiful, sunny and 55 degrees! It couldn't have been more perfect. There was one other family there that lost a little girl at about the same gestation as Jacob was. There were a total of 3 babies buried and they showed us where they buried them last week. It was nice to know exactly where he is in the area. The man who did the service was really nice. He said a prayer and blessed the ground. There was a woman who worked with him as well that was really great. The best thing about them is they wanted to talk about our experiences and our babies. So many people are afraid to even talk about my loss, fearing that they will upset me. The opposite is actually true, I like talking about it. It makes it real. It makes him real.

After the service we laid our flowers down, got pictures and then let off our balloons. That was a really special moment. For some reason seeing them travel up toward heaven was so amazing. Rex decided that once we couldn't see them anymore that they had arrived and Jacob was playing with them. He is so sweet and really misses the fact that he never got to know his brother. He tells me all the time to get pregnant so he can have a new brother or sister. I love that he feels such a connection to him. I know Jacob will watch out for his brothers and that makes me feel good.

After we let off the balloons, we went and saw my aunt Darla's grave and then had an "adventure" as Rex called it. At the top of that cemetary is a big hill dedicated to the Veterens. There are a bunch of graves of soldiers up there and a huge area to look at the beautiful view. It was gorgeous. I am so glad my baby is in this cemetary, not only because it is so beautiful but also because when we first moved here, we lived right down the street from here, so I know the area and it is familiar to me.

We ended the evening at the Cheesecake Factory to celebrate mom and Sam's birthday. Mom let Sam blow out the candle. Thanks to my family for making a potentially rough day, a good experience.